Bah.

I haven't really been feeling like myself (again) lately. I felt like I was finally dragging myself out of the depression I had been in, but then Thursday it seemed to rear it's head again. I'm not sure why. But honestly, I hate feeling like this. I just hate EVERYTHING right now and that's not a nice way to live. *sigh* I, however, DO NOT want to do the medication route. What happened with the Lexapro was really scary. I just need to figure out how to deal with this myself. After all, I only have a few more months left until the baby is born. Then I'll medicate the hell out of myself if I have to.

One thing that goes along with my depression that I hate is my lack of energy and/or motivation to do anything. Our house was pretty much a disaster area when Mark came home from work last night. I could tell he was really aggravated with me and I really didn't care. He cautiously asked me what I had done that day, trying to make it sound like he was interested in my activities when really he was just trying to see if I had accomplished anything chore-wise. And I called him out on it. The problem with me is you can't guilt trip me into doing anything, however you can piss me off enough that I'll accomplish it then. And that's exactly what Mark did, although I can't give him credit enough to say that that's what he was hoping for.

So today I got almost all of the laundry done, including washing our bedsheets. I swear I'm going to stop letting Aidan drink juice in our bed. He's ruining our beautiful white and baby blue bedspread. *sigh* Easier said than done, though.

On the pregnancy side of my life, I'll be 21 weeks tomorrow. I wish I could be more excited about that, but I seem to be a bit indifferent right now. You can see all of the ultrasound photos at my Flickr site, HERE.

Christian is moving around A LOT now and my morning sickness (if you can call it that) had me taking the Reglan just about every 6 hours on command Friday. *sigh* I wouldn't mind it so much except it makes me so sleepy that I can barely function. :o/ I guess you take the good with the bad.

And since I probably won't feel like getting around to it this week:

How your baby's growing:

Your baby now weighs about three-quarters of a pound and is approximately 10 1/2 inches long — the length of a carrot. You may soon feel like she's practicing martial arts as her initial fluttering movements turn into full-fledged kicks and nudges. You may also discover a pattern to her activity as you get to know her better. In other developments, your baby's eyebrows and lids are present now, and if you're having a girl, her vagina has begun to form as well.

See what your baby looks like this week.

Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

I guess that's about it for now. I'm sorry that this post isn't more upbeat and cheery. Next time I'll try to liven things up a bit more. :oP

The verdict is in...

...and thanks to the wonders of the modern age, we can now cofirm that Baby #2 is, in fact, a BOY!!

Mark and I are so excited, but I think I am moreso than Mark. Even though I've seen half a dozen ultrasounds before, I am still in awe whenever I see my little baby bumping around inside my body. He truly is a little miracle.

Physically the baby is great. He has ten fingers, ten toes, all his boy parts, and his brain and heart are developing the way that they should. His kidney's, stomach, and spine look great (according to Dr. Hulsen) as well. It's such a relief to know that he's doing okay.

And we've settled on a name -- Christian Adam. He will be a Christian and not a Chris for sure. Although nicknames are fine for other people's kids, I prefer my children to be known by their full name. Of course, there really isn't a way to shorten Aidan but I really want people to call Christian by his full name (you may omit the middle name, of course!).

I've been feverishly looking through the Target and Wal-Mart websites for crib sets and I've found a few I've liked, especially on the Target site, but I really can fathom paying $180.00 for bedding. I don't even spend that much money on myself!! And I don't expect to have anyone else buy it for me either. That's just plain ridiculous.

We told Aidan last night that he's going to have a little brother but I still don't think it clicks. When we were watching the DVD at Mark's parents house, all he knew was that "Mommy's baby" was on the TV. :oP

Well I have five full minutes to peruse baby stuff, so I'm off!! I'll post pictures of the ultrasound tonight.

T-minus 7 hours!

I have only 7 and a half more hours until my ultrasound. Wee!! I never thought this day would come. It has been such a wait and so far this has been the longest day in history. :oP

I'm 20 weeks today which means I've hit the halfway mark, according to Baby Center. I'm so ready to not be preganant anymore and I still have the 3rd trimester woes to go through.

How your baby's growing:

Your baby weighs about 10 1/2 ounces now. He's also around 6 1/2 inches long from head to bottom and about 10 inches from head to heel — the length of a banana. (For the first 20 weeks, when a baby's legs are curled up against his torso and hard to measure, measurements are taken from the top of his head to his bottom — the "crown to rump" measurement. After 20 weeks, he's measured from head to toe.)He's swallowing more these days, which is good practice for his digestive system. He's also producing meconium, a black, sticky by-product of digestion. This gooey substance will accumulate in his bowels, and you'll see it in his first soiled diaper (some babies pass meconium in the womb or during delivery).

See what your baby looks like this week. (Or see what fraternal twins look like in the womb this week.)

Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

I had a dream Saturday night that I was pregnant with twins but I'm pretty sure I'm not. I mean, they would have noticed that by now, right? Plus twins don't run in either of our families so I know there is only one baby in my tummy.

Mark and I have switched names again. If it's a girl, we're keeping Mia but now Mark likes Christian for a boy instead of Adam. Ho-hum. I don't mind Christian as long as everyone calls him Christian instead of Chris.

I've been feeling better since stopping the Lexapro and I'm not sure if I want to go back on another anti-depressant. It was just too scary this time around. Emotionally I've been better as well but then again I've only worked like one day. :oP

I guess there isn't much more to say right now. I'll update tonight with the news!!

Sickly.

I've been out sick since Tuesday afternoon. First off -- I went to the OB Tuesday because I have been suffering from a bout of depression for a few weeks. I tried to convince myself that I could deal with it on my own but after spending a few days in a black hole, I decided to talk to Dr. Hulsen about having some medicinal help. They squeezed me in for an early afternoon appointment and I found out that I have gained 3 pounds since my last visit and my Quad screen came back negative (yay!). Dr. Hulsen decided to put me on Lexapro since I've been on it before and it worked wonders.

Tuesday night I went home, ate dinner and then took the Lexapro. Within a couple of hours, I was awake and burning up. If you took my temperature it was no more than 98 degrees but I felt like my entire body was on fire and I was so nauseous that I could barely talk or walk. My stomach was in knots. Mark and I thought that it could possibly have to do with the medication but I hadn't had any problems before, so we chalked it up to food poisoning (I had tuna early on in the day).

Wednesday I stayed home from work because I was still feeling really unsettled. The depression was worsened by the fact that I stayed home by myself (it was Aidan's day to spend the night at his Nanny's house). I tried to keep myself busy by doing the laundry and whatnot but it was super hard.

Wednesday night I took another dose of the Lexapro and again, within a few hours I had the same symptoms as the night before only this time it was accompanied by the shakes and diarrehea. Not good. I couldn't cool myself down for more than a hour. I decided then and there to quit taking the medicine.

I called Dr. Hulsen's office Wednesday day and left a message so on Thursday I called them again and got the run around. To this moment, no one has ever returned my call. I feel so important.

I didn't take the Lexapro last night and had a pretty good night's sleep. So I know it was the medicine that was making me sick. I'm now really hesitant to take anything for the depression. I mean, wouldn't you feel the same way?

I'm back at work today. Blah. I hope the day goes by quickly. Tomorrow is the Italian Fest and Aidan is marching in the Children's Parade with his day care. I'm excited for him. I'll be marching as well, just to make sure he's ok. :o)

Only four more days until my ultrasound! Wee!!

19 weeks! One more week to go!!

One more week until the gender ultrasound! *squee* I can't wait and my patience is running exceptionally thin since the other gal at work who's pregnant (and a week ahead of me) found out that she's having a boy. I just wanna know!!

Here's where the baby is at physically:

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's sensory development is exploding! Her brain is designating specialized areas for smell, taste, hearing, vision, and touch. Some research suggests that she may be able to hear your voice now, so don't be shy about reading aloud, talking to her, or singing a happy tune if the mood strikes you.Your baby weighs about 8 1/2 ounces and measures 6 inches, head to bottom — about the size of a large heirloom tomato. Her arms and legs are in the right proportions to each other and the rest of her body now. Her kidneys continue to make urine and the hair on her scalp is sprouting. A waxy protective coating called the vernix caseosa is forming on her skin to prevent it from pickling in the amniotic fluid.

See what your baby looks like this week.

What's funny is that if you click on the "what your baby looks like" link, the baby looks like a pretzel! He/she must be feeling uncomfortable because I'm really not all that big so he/she doesn't have a lot of room. :oP Poor widdle guy!

Yesterday was like the worst day in creation at our house. We tried starting the whole potty-training thing with Aidan again but it just blew up in our faces. We're now, more than ever, convinced that he's just not ready. We even tried to buy him a potty chair that made noises to get him excited but Aidan just doesn't care. And he's TERRIFIED of being on the toilet, with or without potty chair seat. I don't know what brought that on. It's like someone tried to drown him in a commode in a former life.

It's so frustrating for us as parents because I feel like everyone is jugding my ability to be a good parent based on whether or not Aidan is potty-trained. I also feel like every minute Aidan isn't in preschool, I'm denying him of a valuable education experience. I do have to admit that I, myself, did not attend preschool and I turned out just fine. But who knows what they expect of kindergarteners nowadays.

We realized that Aidan knows some of his alphabet, which I think is pretty good! I'm trying to get him to learn his colors but right now the only color he's absolutely sure of is orange. He can spot orange from a mile away. I'll just have to teach him whatever preschool teachers can teach him at home. I'm sure I could do it. It just takes patience and time.

Well I have to get back to work. I hate Monday's. They're the worst!!

Long awaited update...I suppose.

I said a few days ago that I would post something longer but I've been super lazy and just never got around to it. You see, Allison has been reading the Twilight series and got me hooked again. I say "again" because I read the first book and decided I was going to read the rest, but never really got around to it. Once Allison was finished with her copies of New Moon and Eclipse, I snagged them for myself and have spent the past couple of nights, curled up on our bed indulging in Edward Cullen (screw Bella and all the other characters, I only read for one person in that book and it's my love, Edward). I had planned on coming straight home from work and picking up in Eclipse right where I left off, but my wonderful husband bought me a copy of "Beyond Good and Evil" for Playstation 2 (old skool, baby!) and I felt awful that it had been sitting by our TV for two days and I never even unwrapped it. So I started playing that until I realized that I had to pick Aidan up from day care. And even after we got back, I couldn't tear myself away.

Eventually, though, baby #2 reminded me that I had to eat so I figured I'd check my email while downing some chicken fries. And one thing lead to another and now I'm here, updating (which reminds me, I need to call my sister back...I almost forgot!).

Not much has been going on except the baby has made me quick sick lately. As in gag and puke sick. I've had to take Reglan every day this week, with the exception of today (yay!) and I've generally felt like ass. I can't believe I still have four more months of this. Please, baby, do me a favor and just love on your mom for awhile instead of making her feel ill. I sure would appreciate it!! And I know Daddy would appreciate it too!!

I've been perusing Target online for a couple of days and actually created a registry but there is nothing exciting on there right now -- just some Dr. Brown's bottles, a bottle warmer, a sterilizer and a double stoller to name a few. I feel like I can't even pick out what kind of swing I want to get until I know the gender of the baby. I almost registered for a green crib set, thinking the green would be perfect for a boy or a girl, but it's almost too girly. See? I thought about putting the ladybug crib set on the registry for now and then changing it later, but I felt like then I'd be jinxing myself. I think I've about decided to give up until after the 22nd. Shopping is becoming more of a pain than actually being fun.

One thing I love though is the fact that I actually know what I need now, unlike before when I just kind of wandered around Babies R Us and pointed the registry gun at anything and everything. Like I know that wipe warmers are a waste of money. I mean, seriously, your baby does not care if his/her butt wipe is warm. That almost seems dirty to me. I'm trying to think of other things that seem frivilous to me but the wipe warmer is the only thing I can come up with. Oh, well you don't really need a high chair until the baby is old enough to be fed food. So if you don't have one, wait a bit. The baby won't be able to hold it's head up or sit up enough to use it anyway.

I do have to recommend the Bumbo seat though. I LOVED my Bumbo seat (which my neice Olivia uses now, but I'm getting it back ASAP). It's definitely worth the money. I know Wal-Mart sells like faux-Bumbo seats and I dunno how well they work. I would just say spend the extra dough and buy the original Bumbo. They have them at both Wal-Mart and Target. Definitely a great investment. AND a swing. Aidan loved the crap out of his swing.

I guess that's about it for now. I can't think of much more to say. Aidan kissed my tummy the other day when I asked him to give the baby a kiss. It was the cutest thing EVER. :o)

Ta-ta, for now!

I've hit the five month mark!

Woo! I'm half way through my pregnancy (give or take a few)!!

How your baby's growing:

Head to rump, your baby is about 5 1/2 inches long (about the length of a bell pepper) and he weighs almost 7 ounces. He's busy flexing his arms and legs — movements that you'll start noticing more and more in the weeks ahead. His blood vessels are visible through his thin skin, and his ears are now in their final position, although they're still standing out from his head a bit. A protective covering of myelin is beginning to form around his nerves, a process that will continue for a year after he's born. If you're having a girl, her uterus and fallopian tubes are formed and in place. If you're having a boy, his genitals are noticeable now, but he may hide them from you during an ultrasound.

See what your baby looks like this week.


...and less than two weeks until my ultrasound. I am so ready. My friend Allison and I perused the baby section at Target a few days ago and I found the CUTEST crib bedding set, if Baby #2 is a girl. It has ladybugs on it!! :o)

I don't have much time to update today, but I just want to say that I'm doing ok. I haven't been feeling well the past couple of days (really nauseated) and had to leave work for about 4 hours yesterday so that I could get my Reglan filled at Schnucks. I was feeling pukey this morning, took a pill, then I got really gassy and I can't burp. I feel that if I burp I'm going to puke. Ug! I just want to feel good for awhile!!

I have to get back to work now! I promise a longer update later!!

Wishing for Friday already!

Even though I've only been back at work 2 days now, I still wish it were Friday! My job has become very tedious to me, as of late, but really there is nothing I can do until Baby #2 rears its head. Until then, I just have to grin and bear it and try not to fall asleep at my desk!

I am a little over 17 weeks along now! 3 more weeks until the gender ultrasound! Yay! I'm still having morning sickness here and there (I gagged in the shower this morning...ew!) but I do have more energy than I did before.

Here's what Baby Center had to say:

How your baby's growing:

Your baby's skeleton is changing from soft cartilage to bone, and the umbilical cord — her lifeline to the placenta — is growing stronger and thicker. Your baby weighs 5 ounces now (about as much as a turnip), and she's around 5 inches long from head to bottom. She can move her joints, and her sweat glands are starting to develop.

See what your baby looks like this week.

Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.


***

The biggest news right now is John McCain's choice for VP Sarah Palin. Now usually I wouldn't mention political issues in a pregnancy blog, but the spotlight on her just so happens to be shining brightly just because her 17 year old daughter is pregnant.

You know what I say to that? BIG DEAL. It's been proven that teenage pregnancy is up. There was that whole school back east who had a ton of pregnant teeny-boppers roaming around, claiming they made a pact to raise their kids together. Why is everyone so surprised? Shit happens, even to politicians and their families.

A lot of people are making a huge issue out of it because Palin is a Conservative Republican who is aganist abortion and apparently sex education in school. She would rather teach abstinance. Wouldn't all mothers? I don't even want to THINK about Aidan having sex and I'd rather him just not do it, but you can't think like that.

Nevertheless, I'm sure Bristol does not hold the same opinions as her right wing mother and therefore obviously did not engage in abstinance. It's not her mother's fault, it's not her father's fault. Teenagers are reckless with their bodies, their minds, everything. And I think it's pretty shitty that people are trying to blame Palin and her husband.

No one forced Bristol into having sex with her boyfriend. That was a choice they made together as well as making the choice to have unprotected sex. No amount of condoms shoved in a teenagers face is going to make a difference. And I know from experience. I didn't have a teenage pregnancy but when I was younger, my boyfriends and I rarely used protection. Why? Because condoms suck, to be honest. But I never really had any pregnancy scares either to change my mind.

Sheesh. I just hate it when the media (and crazy liberals) pick on people like that. Especially mother's.

At least Bristol is having the child and didn't go off and have an abortion! And she's getting married to her boyfriend. What else does the media want? Ug.

I'm going back to work now. *sigh*